This weekend my sisters, some of our families, and I got together to clean out our Aunt Mardene’s house. (She passed away early in the summer.)
We all miss Mardene, but we believe she is in a better place and we are comforted that she’s not living alone anymore.
Still, it was a bit more emotional than I expected it to be.
It could have been all the memories that came flooding back as we sorted through old things and moved out furniture.
Perhaps it was knowing the old house I grew up in would no longer be mine to drop in and hang out anymore. (My great niece and her husband are going to move in so that will help.)
Maybe it was the hot weather.
Or the rain.
Who knows?
It was hard work, though.
(Darn, no pictures of me with my rain-ruined hair, and my bright red, sweaty hot face!)
Mardene was very humble, and she was not a person who loved material things, but she was quite sentimental.
She had saved a lot of letters, cards, funeral programs, and newspaper clippings of family achievement, all neatly bundled together.
She even wrote down the names of people who called and visited on her birthdays, probably so she could relive each call over and over in her mind.
I found this big stack of letters that I had written to her over the years. She must have kept every single one.
Maybe I’m feeling the “double whammy” effect from losing both Mardene and my father-in-law this summer, of knowing that those doors are now closed and I can’t visit or hang out with them, but it made me think really hard about the little things we do to support each other.
Letters, cards, pictures, phone calls, and visits were her treasures.
In our technological world are we denying our older family members and friends of precious gifts?
We text, email, and send off messages on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter to stay in touch, which is speedy and wonderful, but how do you save those memories?
Something to think about.
I wish I could say that I’m going to start up my old weekly, family newsletters again, (I fizzled out the last few years), but I do want to leave behind good memories.
What things do you do to stay in touch with your family?
JoAnn
P.S. The girls enjoyed a visit with grandpa shortly before he passed away.
Thanks for the pictures, Liz.
Glad part of the family made it to a lake!
7 comments:
What a lovely post! It does make me stop to think about this too. Journalling is an option which I've not done either. I take lots of pictures, but they too just stay in my camera or computer for the most part. Hmmmm - thanks for making me seriously think about this.
I still get emotional thinking about Mardene and grandpa. Just the other week I found myself wondering if grandpa was coming to family dinner. Our family was lucky to spend so much time with them and it is hard to think those times are over.
What a great column! I totally agree with you about what we have lost by all this "instant communication." Just this morning my husband mentioned that he might write a hand-written letter to our granddaughter who just moved thousands of miles away to take up a new job. He said he was going to tell her it was a collector's item, not just because he doesn't often write to anyone, but because it arrived in an actual envelope with the stamp attached.
I know that one of the things I find hardest (no, try next to impossible) to throw out are old letters and greeting cards. All the thought that went into writing the letters and choosing the cards -- how can i throw that away? Especially in the case of some of my more artistic relatives who actually make their own cards. My sister-in-law has sent me needlepointed cards (which I've framed) and other handmade paper cutout cards that I treasure.
It's a wonderful and very throught-provoking post you've written. Thanks for sharing. xoxox
Ah yes...the good old days when we actually wrote out what was on our hearts with a pen and paper. I do miss them! That is why I still keep hand written journals. I don't write in them everyday but there are those times when I just want to feel the pen in hand...many times I will write down prayers, keeping them and then going back and reading them at a later date. Sometimes words just need to be written...also just knowing that someone you loved actually formed the words with their own unique handwriting...there really is no substitute for the real thing, is there? Great post!
Wow, how neat to find all of the letters and papers she had kept. Sure makes us realize what we are missing out on. Doesn't it? I miss the days when we talked on the phone with people we love. Remember how it used to be so exciting when the phone rang? My sons are 23 and 26...they don't ever call. They send texts and that's just not the same. Seriously, they really don't even have phone skills. I'm afraid letter writing and phone calls might just go away. I'm still sending cards and notes pretty often. My MIL sends them all the time and they are so nice to receive.
They are in a better place, but I know how hard it is to lose a loved one. Mardene sounds like a wonderful woman and it must have touched your heart, JoAnn, that she kept your letters. They are a family history themselves.Your daughter's resemble your father-in-law, so he lives on through them and in all your precious memories of him!
We are losing a large part of ourselves these days by not writing letters and collecting hard copies of our family photos. How will future generations remember us?
Oh yes! This is hard. I didn't expect all the emotions that I would have when we moved. I had already been through much worse losing my parents and letting go and packing up. I knew that would be hard, but didn't expect the emotions when I went through my chidlren's things and the notes from my parents, etc. It was like living it all over again.
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