It's really late. My body is achy and tired, but my mind is wide awake. (I will hate myself tomorrow, because I should be working on a project for school and here I am -procrastinating.) Don't ask me why, I guess I just need a little personal time. I have been in quite a dither lately. I am finding myself with more to do than I have time (and energy)! I am starting to feel like those people you read about who can't dig themselves out from under and so they just quit trying and end up living in total chaos. (O.K. family, I'm just kidding!) I have struggled with my blog posts lately, too. I never thought I'd run out of things to say, but I have been as blank as a sterile white wall. (Even my metaphors are pathetic!) So, what is the purpose of this post? Am I here for sympathy?
I'm not sure. I think I'm trying to sort things out in my mind and convince myself that the void comes from finding my well a bit empty. I know we women tend to want to take care of everyone, to create an inviting home, to serve in the church, to be the best at our many jobs, and I love doing those things. I really do.
School is winding down and yes, it is a busy time. I have been ill and have no energy. Projects at home have put me behind. The yard is full of so much potential- but far from the way I enjoy seeing it. My computer class homework has caused me added stress. I am tired.
BUT.....
I know there is a purpose to everything and that life is meant to bring joy and happiness. I know I need to step back and pamper myself a bit. I need to let go of some of the pressure I put on myself. I have a wonderful family, good friends, and many material blessings.
Well, I feel a lot better (and no therapist fees to pay)! I will be fine and if I can hold on a little longer I will have time to catch my breath. I thought I'd end with this old, grainy photo of Heidi and Michelle enjoying some simple pleasures-playing in the mud! Yes, I probably thought those days were hard and frustrating at the time, but what great memories I have of raising our children. (And the yard has come a LONG way!)
Thanks for letting me vent! I won't promise exciting, well written blog posts. I can't guarantee my newsletters will be interesting or on time. Projects might remain unfinished. But, I will keep trying!
I LOVE this advice from President Hinckley:
"Stop looking for the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight."
"Life is to be enjoyed, not endured."
"If life gets to hard to stand- kneel."
-Gordon B. Hinckley
♥
JoAnn